Culture of Cleveland Heights

As you may have noticed, I'm losing my mind a little bit from spending every waking moment with a short person who constantly demands attention, food, and/or TV. Tomorrow he starts kindergarten for real; I look forward to getting my brain back.

In the meantime, I've been exercising it by trying to figure out the new neighborhood, anthropology-style. Here are a few of the local cultural rules I am testing:

1. White women do not mow their own lawns. So far, all lawncare I've witnessed has been done by:


• hired black men (as evidenced by the commercial lawncare trailers parked out front while they work) or


• black men on their own properties (evidence: lack of said trailer).


2. Parks are not for children. I'm not sure what they are for, but so far we've met only one other child at any of the local parks, playgrounds, etc. These are well-maintained, well-equipped playgrounds, mind, so it's not like people are avoiding them for safety. NB: we did see deer (mother and fawn) at one local playground, so maybe they are unmarked wildlife preserves.
3. People expect you to be interested in them. And take an interest in you. Yesterday's grocery trip included being quizzed by a fellow shopper on cuts of meat and cooking methods, and a soliloquy from an elderly woman on the best way to prepare a hot dog. I am not kidding.

More to come, but I need to pry The Kid away from the TV now and take him for his 5-year-old vaccinations so they have no excuse not to take him off my hands tomorrow.