Wednesday, January 13, 2010

On the idea of women's "choice"

Women like to get all het up about other women's "choices" around staying home with kids or working otuside the home. Well, some women. Not so much the ones I hang around with. But I read this crap online all over the place.

And the biggest piece of BS in the whole pile is the idea that "choice" is normal.

The women having these discussions are not struggling to get through the week with enough food for the family. They are not worried about what will happen if they lose their job and benefits and their sick husband can't get his treatments anymore. They are not wishing desparately they could be home to do all the urgent house repairs that only they can do, as the only able-bodied adult, instead of being stuck at work, feeling guilty about not being home for their kid and resentful of the useless crap they have to do at work.

So, here's a reminder:

It's not always a choice. And dropping a little aside in your rant, "for those women who have a choice," is really not enough. I'm sick of hearing about your choices. You are freakin' lucky to have them.


Blogger The back of the hill said...

Usually when the word choice is used, the 'other choice' is a horrid one. Using that word far too frequently implies a value judgement.

You can 'choose' to ruin your life with crack cocaine. You can 'choose' to run away and join the freak-show. You can 'choose' to marry that person and if you do your mother and I will never talk to you again because you 'chose' to throw away everything we've ever done for you.

You can 'choose' to be a decent person. But the alternative is even less attractive.

Much of life does not involve choices. It simply gets thrown at you. Choice is seldom an option.

1/13/2010 8:41 PM  
Blogger Tzipporah said...

Really? I hadn't considered crack... good to know I have options. ;)

1/14/2010 12:25 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...


I found via DaMomma's comments. I know this is an old post but...


1/18/2010 3:13 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

For 95% of women today, there is no choice. Sure, you could choose to go hungry and live on the street, but hey, really?

I found you through Damomma, and I am enjoying your blog immensely!

2/02/2010 11:05 AM  

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