Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Experiment: Huggable and Scholarly

Back of the Hill claims that:
"Wearing a yarmulke looks equally huggable and scholarly. Trust me on this."
We put his claim to the test. What effect does a yarmulke have on the following characters? Please enter the adjective of your choice in the comments.

Do I need to pay for the therapy?

There are some days when you feel like a great parent. You undestand the mumble-speak, you know exactly how to fix the owie, you remain calm when the toddler has a screaming tantrum over a Lego that doesn't fit.

This is not one of those days.

Baby Chalal stayed up about an hour too late last night because of his cousin's birthday party, so he was not at his best this morning. Nevertheless, we got everyone fed, dressed, out the door, and to daycare on time, for which I was congratulating myself. The door to his classroom was blocked by the arrival of the New Girl, all 12 months and 25 chubby inches of her, and her family.

Baby, instead of sitting down obediently to have his shoes removed, spent the first several minutes touching and hugging New Girl while she tried to look at the fish, talk to her mama, explore the toys, etc. All the while, he's looking at us for approval that he is touching her "gently" as we always exhort him to.

As Bad Cohen and I were about to leave, Baby Chalal took a running start towards New Girl and shoved her flat on her face, with both hands.

Great. I can just picture her in therapy someday, trying to figure out her fear of new situations and older men...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

US Military agrees: Newborns are military weapons

Night of the Living Meds: The U.S. military's sleep-reduction program

"Sleep deprivation is known to have significantly harmful impact on physical performance, alertness, and the ability to perform complex cognitive tasks... sleep deprivation and exhaustion can be and has been exploited militarily as a specific mechanism to weaken opposing forces."

Honestly, if the military is really interested in studying sleep deprivation and the effects of caffeine on performance, all they have to do is study the local Mommy and Me groups.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Best (yet most depressing) advice today

Regarding going out to eat with young children, regular commenter rudyinparis said:

"...accept that meals out will be devoted to teaching/modeling correct behavior. Give up on the fantasy that you can enjoy a margarita while staring into space or having a witty conversation with your partner."

That's right. Going out to dinner is no longer a treat or a relief, it is a "teaching moment." Yet another time/event where you get to devote most of your (fading) energy to civilizing your horrible little sh*t adorable little child into someone vaguely acceptable in social situations.

She's totally right of course- that's what good parents are all about. The greater goal of teaching, modeling, parenting their spawn always takes precedence over their own needs or desires, except the good ones can hide that and make it look like they're still doing exactly what they want to do. Or, maybe they're the good ones because the parenting thing IS what they want to do every waking moment. All I know is, I'm not them. And thank G-d for Damomma, who frequently makes me feel like I'm having a *good* day, in comparison.