An army of kittens

Bad Cohen let The Kid watch Star Wars, Ep. VI (Return of the Jedi, death of Jabba do Hut, Yoda dies, Ewoks) last night. He forgot to tell me I should cover The Kid's eyes during the Rancor scene.

I thought he'd already seen it.

Goddamit.

As a consequence, The Kid woke me up every 20 minutes from 11pm to 2am, by which point, we had figured out why he was freaking out (the Rancor) and how to combat it (the very same superpowered imagination that freaked him out in the first place).

Remember how you deal with Boggarts? Kids' actual imaginary monsters are pretty much the same. Imagine them looking silly. Ridiculous, even. Get the Kid to laugh at them, and you're pretty much home free. Unless you have my kid. Who wants to stay up making ever-more ridiculous scenarios about the monster when you really just want to go the fuck back to bed. As a result, we now know that Rancors:

1. Wear rollerskates, but have very poor balance


2. Are leery of balloons, especially if they are balloon animals


3. Like to wear pink fluffy scarves


4. Are terrified of kittens. The fluffier, the worse.


5. They also have a fondness for lollipops, and a tendency to get them stuck to their faces, just out of reach.

He now settles himself for sleep by picturing the army of kittens around his bed. And by practicing making balloon animals.