Separate But Equal?

A death in the family. The deceased's family needs to mourn, and so services are held. The majority of the room is filled with the deceased's friends and acquaintances, but her closest relatives - father, brother, and husband - are relegated to a couple of chairs (sometimes even standing) against the back wall in their own living room, because they might disturb the others. They are asked to remain silent except at a few specific moments, listening to others chant and pray and sing words they are not allowed to use, again, because they might disturb the others present.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Change father, brother, and husband to mother, sister, and wife - that's what I saw, what I took part in over the last few days.

While this may have met the needs of the Orthodox wife, there was something truly painful about hearing someone's mother ask if she were allowed to be in her own living room to mourn her son's death, with a bunch of people she doesn't know, who disrespect her path in Judaism. She, of course, was the picture of grace and hospitality.