Monday, February 26, 2007

Purim responses to synagogue break-in...

OK, after stewing about the break-in and vandalization (see my last post) for days, my relentlessly irreverent self has come up with something too awful to keep to myself.

Purim responses to the break-in:
  1. Find the offenders' double-wides, break-in, and vandalize *their* sacred objects (TV and beer cooler?)
  2. Require them to enter a beauty pageant to be judged by the Shrub.
  3. Make them sit in on a 2,000-class lecture series on the laws of sofrut. And then make a Purim spiel out of it. To be performed in costume. And filmed. And put on YouTube.

Any other ideas?


Anonymous The Back of the Hill said...

The beer cooler doubles as a coffee table.

And while the interminability of a 2000 class lecture series on sofrus would punish them, yes, it might also turn them into scribes or leastways semi-educated. Far too good a reward for them.

I, instead, would love to see them have an unlimited supply of whatever cheap plonkum beer they favour. With, as unrevealed codicil to that sentence, a clause that terminates thier beer supply when their habit reaches half a dozen sixpacks each per day.

At which point they will not be able to distinguish between 'cursed be Haman' and 'blessed be Mordechai'.
Not able. Not ever. Not ever again.

2/26/2007 4:38 PM  

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