Single(ton) Mom?
Lately I've been reading and thinking a lot about people with more than one child.
For one thing, a friend just had her second, and her insights are often hilarious. (For example, which new mom would ever believe that a month-old infant is easier to deal with than a 3 1/2 year old? One who's met a 3 1/2 year old.)
For another, all the families in our baby group are reaching the stage where they're thinking about a second. Or doing more than thinking.
As an only child, I'm both fascinated and slightly repelled by the sibling relationship. My most personal experiences of it were obviously vicarious, and mostly consisted of trying to become invisible while a friend and her older brother or sister had a screaming/kicking/stuff-snatching fest.
However, having seen grown (or even older) siblings, and how they interact, I can imagine how lovely it would be to have multiple (grown) children of my own. More grandchildren. More people to come over at holidays. More college tuition...
But, in order to get there, I'd have to have multiple UNGROWN children. Young children. Babies, even. And frankly, I don't think I'm cut out for it.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE baby Chalal insanely, and love being his mom.
But I'm an introvert.
I'm a cat person, not a dog person.
I don't really get off on shuffling around my kitchen in the mornings, dragging my feet because little hands have a death-grip on my knees, and a little snuffly face is pressed against me to the point where I'm considering adopting waterproof pants as my indoor outfit during cold season.
I love it that baby Chalal gets a big smile and comes running when I show up to pick him up from the daycare or his grandparents.
I love it a lot less when he starts crying as soon as I walk from one room in our house to another, or refuses his father's attention because he's fixated on mama.
I mean, really kid, I think we need to start seeing other people.
So, while I still love my fantasy of the happy, close-knit, loving, GROWN family, I think I'll skip a second baby. If anyone has suggestions (or a lovely child they'd be willing to let me adopt in a few years), let me know.
For one thing, a friend just had her second, and her insights are often hilarious. (For example, which new mom would ever believe that a month-old infant is easier to deal with than a 3 1/2 year old? One who's met a 3 1/2 year old.)
For another, all the families in our baby group are reaching the stage where they're thinking about a second. Or doing more than thinking.
As an only child, I'm both fascinated and slightly repelled by the sibling relationship. My most personal experiences of it were obviously vicarious, and mostly consisted of trying to become invisible while a friend and her older brother or sister had a screaming/kicking/stuff-snatching fest.
However, having seen grown (or even older) siblings, and how they interact, I can imagine how lovely it would be to have multiple (grown) children of my own. More grandchildren. More people to come over at holidays. More college tuition...
But, in order to get there, I'd have to have multiple UNGROWN children. Young children. Babies, even. And frankly, I don't think I'm cut out for it.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE baby Chalal insanely, and love being his mom.
But I'm an introvert.
I'm a cat person, not a dog person.
I don't really get off on shuffling around my kitchen in the mornings, dragging my feet because little hands have a death-grip on my knees, and a little snuffly face is pressed against me to the point where I'm considering adopting waterproof pants as my indoor outfit during cold season.
I love it that baby Chalal gets a big smile and comes running when I show up to pick him up from the daycare or his grandparents.
I love it a lot less when he starts crying as soon as I walk from one room in our house to another, or refuses his father's attention because he's fixated on mama.
I mean, really kid, I think we need to start seeing other people.
So, while I still love my fantasy of the happy, close-knit, loving, GROWN family, I think I'll skip a second baby. If anyone has suggestions (or a lovely child they'd be willing to let me adopt in a few years), let me know.
posted by Tzipporah at 5:15 PM
2 Comments:
Well as the mother of a six year old and a one week old... I will say the jury is still out on sibling rivalry, and how hard it may be to parent two. But then I came from a two kid family so I expect it will be about like that. All good things come with a price. (-;
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